If Mama ain't happy...

Today it was in the high sixties, sunny, light breeze, and the kids were absolutely beside themselves with naughtiness. I stocked the girls up with Cheerios and water, put on some headphones, turned on Pandora, and we all went for a nice, relaxing walk around the block.

There's been a discussion on a board I follow about whether moms, particularly stay-at-home moms, need to make "me" time. I can see both sides of the issue; if you really, truly, honestly do not mind spending every single second with your children, then being a SAHM is a wonderful arrangement. If you really, truly, honestly need to have a little bit of time each day where you get a break from the little people, that's okay, too. I think the problem lies in women who need that time away but feel guilty about it, like they should want to spend every waking (and, in our case, sleeping) moment with their children. This is a recipe for disaster; the kids are grating on Mama's nerves, Mama wants to get away, Mama feels like she can't (or shouldn't), so Mama starts to resent the kids subconsciously for putting her in this position. Kids pick up on that stuff, though, so it's no good to anyone if Mama never takes a moment to herself when she needs one.

I'm one of those mothers who does need a little time sans children. I don't need a lot; I'm not looking to leave town for a week to hang out alone or with friends. I don't even need to get out of the house or be completely alone--I'd actually kind of like to hang out with that guy I married. I just need to reboot my brain for a few minutes when there is no whining, no crying, no shoving, not even a sleeping baby on my lap. It's been especially important since E was born. She spent most of the first year of her life with me--she literally would not sleep unless it was in my arms, on my lap, or by my side. I know that I'll look back on this time fondly when I have the benefit of time and perspective, but in the here and now, it gets to be overwhelming at times.

Our walk today was largely motivated by my need for a time out. I tried to take five minutes to clean the bathroom counter, and Jazz got annoyed by that brief lack of attention (Oh, the temperament of children at two and a half!) and tried desperately to squash her sister, for no other reason than because she can. After that disastrous attempt at cleaning, I needed some time to reset my system, hence the walk. Even though I was interrupting what they wanted to do (play, eat, and kill each other) with something that I wanted to do (get a moment's peace), it wasn't a bad decision. I felt much better after the walk, and I was able to be a better, more patient mother because of that. Taking "me" time isn't selfish if it improves a mother's ability to mother her children.